Minoring in Twitter: O’s Bridwell wants a diaper, Norris kills his fish

By Danny Wild / MiLB.com

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I think this one needs to lead the blog this week. Orioles fans, your No. 17 prospect, Parker Bridwell, not only wants to wear adult diapers, he feels the need to tell everyone:

Here’s Bridwell with someone who flaunts his no-diaper lifestyle:

The other storyline sweeping Twitter has been the saga of Blue Jays prospect Daniel Norris and his pet fish, Caladesi. Norris, Toronto’s No. 1-ranked left-hander, revealed to the world that he had a new “toy” on May 28:

Yo. Take care of that little guy. He then Tweeted some words of wisdom about doing the right thing:

And then, he killed his fish.

WHAT HAPPENED? According to Norris, he froze his small aquatic friend by placing his plastic fish tank on the hotel’s air conditioner and turning down the AC to a chilly 60 degrees. (Related: a door nail is a nail hammered through a door, often for decorative purposes, in which the protruding end is then bent over to secure it to the door. Thus, the nail is no longer reusable and, I guess, dead?)

The mourning period begins:

That’s the first recorded usage of the “#RIPCaladesi” hashtag in Twitter history, by the way.

Norris then had a chance to pitch on June 2 in Jupiter. Perhaps an opportunity to dedicate his Florida State League start to his icy friend? He turned in a decent start– six innings, nine hits, three runs, no walks, six strikeouts, no decision. Quality start with a broken heart.

Would a fish survive with the opposite? No air conditioning?

Finally, a real moment of silence for a baseball legend:

Shawon Dunston Jr reached out to Taijuan Walker after a teammate apparently matched his high-reaching efforts in the Peoria clubhouse:

White Sox fans would prefer their prized stolen base champ, Micah Johnson, not bang up the legs that helped him swipe 84 bases last season (although he’s only 11-of-19 in steal attempts this year, so maybe it’s already begun):

There’s no bus or Chipotle in this photo, but it does include hideous uniforms, so it’s pretty accurate:

Jacksonville shortstop Danny Black, whose Twitter bio reads, “Add a bio to your profile,” is struggling with a .229 average:

 Certainly Duke is Duke:

Tigers prospect Ben Verlander, in case he can’t quite match his brother’s success in the Majors,tried his hand as a TV weatherman. Watch him talk about “red” rain near Wichita and how he believes he’s being “setup for failure” with the town of Trufant, Michigan:

Delino DeShields needs a friend:

What Twitter was created for: announcing your facial hair will be altered. Thanks for the heads up, Donald Lutz:

Is there a difference between slim and skinny-fit jeans? A’s righty Todd Van Steensel shouldn’t be worried about either:

Twins prospect Lewis Thorpe was promoted from extended Spring Training to Class A Cedar Rapids, which means it’s a good excuse to show off his hilarious hair (taken in April):

And now that he’s a legit Minor Leaguer, you know what that means, right?

Probably not the news Twins fans hoped to be reading earlier this year, but at least they’re having fun — Minnesota’s top two prospects, Byron Buxton and Miguel Sano, gone fishin':

Giants prospect Clayton Blackburn passing on some ketchup etiquette. Incidentally my dad used to do this and he’s no longer in my life:

Angels prospect Trevor Gretzky, whose dad dropped the ceremonial first puck Wednesday before the Kings-Rangers Stanley Cup opener, Tweets a Noah’s ark reference:

 More Zim:

Here’s a guy who actually tweeted about playing baseball rather than eating fast food or going on and bus trips or freezing your pets in hotel rooms:

OK, enough of that — back to off-the-field stuff, like Reno’s Mark Serrano, who drinks and drives golf carts:

I don’t even know what to say here:

Salem Red Sox outfielder Kevin Heller wishes he could swing like Manny:

Not in a Chipotle kinda mood:

Here we go, yet another one of my favorite “nothing better than…” Tweets from someone who is either way too easily entertained or is just in desperate need of socks. “Nothing better than new pairs of socks!”

Really? Nothing? You know what’s better than getting new socks? Snow days when you were in school, picking the fastest moving line at the grocery store checkout, finding a bunch of extra french fries at the bottom of the bag, finding money on the sidewalk or in your pocket. Also: Ice cream. Hitting snooze. Game of Thrones. Bacon. Putting on old but totally comfortable and acceptable pair of socks.

What other things could be better? For that, we turned to the experts on making lists of dumb stuff — BuzzFeed. And guess what? Even the obsessive list-makers there ranked “Putting on a new pair of socks” as only the No. 16 Absolute Best thing in the World. That list also includes finding an empty movie theater, free samples, finding a parking meter with time left on it, and walking into a cold building on a hot day.

Yeah, nothing feels better than an air conditioned hotel room. Just ask Daniel Norris’ fish.

Nothing? What about new socks? This guy is living a sheltered life.

Pirates prospect Jameson Taillon found a poster of a 10-year-old kid who was not only forced into having elbow surgery during Little League, but the darn doctors used baseball laces to stitch him up!

Come to New York City:

Daniel Moskos got released, so I guess he’s a Minor League free agent, but this is an excuse to show Johnny Manziel’s weird fingers:

Reminder to Pirates fans: the Bucs drafted Moskos No. 4 overall, ahead of Matt Wieters, Madison Bumgarner, Jason Heyward, Rick Porcello…

Both CJ Fick and Eric Berger have also been released, which maybe explains Fick’s paycheck from the Astros last April:

Jeremy Barfield needs clarity:

Hope Jameson Taillon’s game includes those horrendous non-stop vuvuzelas:

Also hope his recovery from Tommy John surgery in April is going OK. What do you think he’s up to?

Someone commented that he had small legs in the photo. “Yeah,” he replied, “They messed up my TJ and did my legs.”

Things a professional baseball player should probably not Tweet:

Mets prospect Noah Syndergaard shows off his new Thor hammer:

Not quite but soon-to-be Minor Leaguer Tweets of the Week:

Thursday night was the 2014 MLB Draft. But anyway, guess what? Pretty much every kid drafted this week will soon make the transition from Draft day euphoria to the realization he’s pitching in the Gulf Coast League. Here’s a few future Minor Leaguers:

And also, this:

And in clubhouses around this nation, actual Minor Leaguers gathered around TVs and computers to see who might soon be joining them:

Chipotle Tweets of the Week

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