Archive for the ‘ Minoring in Twitter ’ Category

Minoring in Twitter: Our bus broke down, and our bus driver quit

By Danny Wild /


Ben Verlander. There’s a guy whose probably got it pretty good, right? Expensive exotic cars, popping champagne in clubhouse celebrations with his Cy Young-winning brother, beautiful women, even more amazing cars, posing in dugouts like an Abercrombie model, putting up seven RBIs on two homers. The guy knows Kate Upton. That can’t be understated: he knows Kate Upton, probably really well.

But he’s a Minor Leaguer, so that means while Justin Verlander is off driving his supercars with supermodels, Ben is occasionally stranded on the side of a highway for four five seven hours with a broken bus and a sweaty, frustrated bus driver named Gordo:

Verlander tried reaching out to Peter Pan (the bus company, not the peanut butter tycoon or the mischievous boy) for help:

And Peter Pan was like, “Hey, Ben, we have no idea!”

Other Connecticut players pleaded for help:

Concerned about our young men, we checked in with Ben after hour No. 4:

Tigers righty Josh Heddinger also said it was a flat tire:

Hours later… still there…


Minoring in Twitter: Minor Leaguers are sick of LeBron

By Danny Wild /

What’s the most inescapably draining, exhausting and never-ending sports story lately? No, not the World Cup — LeBron James, of course.

LeBron James

We here in New York have relative confidence that Carmelo will come back to our beloved, inept Knicks, but LeBron? ESPN’s speculation is about as accurate as a bunch of random Minor Leaguers on Twitter, and so you can guess what comes next:

LeBron is going to Cleveland to join Johnny Manziel:

Hillsboro’s Jordan Parr says LeBron is going to be in Myrtle Beach next year. Oh wait, wrong Pelicans:

Yes. Yes. About as frequently as says “prospect”:

Oh wait, even better:

Yeah, take that, LeBron:

Ouch. Yes. Florida sports fans are hard to sympathize with:

Minoring in Twitter: Minor Leaguers ready for July 4th

By Danny Wild /


You don’t need to be a Ben’s Biz Blog reader to know that Minor League teams can’t resist dressing up their players in themed outfits for just about any occasion, whether it’s something uplifting and charitable like cancer awareness, or silly like Star Wars (or Star Wars, and also, Star Wars). Another theme the Minors has no shortage of: patriotic flag-themed jerseys, caps, cleats and gloves. From the players’ iPhones to your eyeballs, enjoy:

Brevard County’s Brandon Macias even got a gift basket of red, white and blue flowers from Daytona Cubs fans:

If that wasn’t enough for you — and maybe it wasn’t since, this is being written on the eve of July 4th — here are some other memorable uniforms we’ve seen: 3629952108_0ff21022e0_z 7499345714_9dfbcfb26a_c 7506093898_df6face651_c Ah yes, who can forget Derek Jeter being forced to wear this during a Double-A rehab… 5899757994_ff70eae368_z Wisconsin, earlier this week, had a walk-off with these lovely tops:  10488674_451590288311684_1224931449_n Lakewood’s Zach Green had a healthy breakfast: a cracker, some processed meat, “cheese,” a chocolate candy bar and some sugar water:


Minoring in Twitter: Prospects rally, react to US soccer advancing

By Danny Wild /

We here at Minoring in Twitter strive to find some relevant storyline each week, and so you’ll be very impressed by what I managed to get this week. World Cup. USA vs. Germany. Donald Lutz.


Who’s Donald Lutz? He’s a Reds Minor League outfielder — in fact, he’s played in seven Major League games this season — and he grew up in Germany. Lutz was born in upstate New York but moved to Germany when he was 2. He was a member of Germany’s national baseball team and somehow got discovered over there by the Reds, who signed him in 2007. He made his Major League debut in 2013 and hit for the cycle with Double-A Pensacola this April… but who is he rooting for? He’s American, he’s quasi-German, he (I think) still lives in Germany during the offseason. How many other Minor Leaguers are so uniquely connected to this World Cup match-up?

The answer is, I have no clue who he’s rooting for, but on June 21, he was all Team GER:

That was a day after the U.S. government, by way of a local village parking meter, stole $.25 from his pocket. That’s probably enough to make you abandon all loyalty to the flag. In fact, his Twitter profile picture is the German soccer team flag/logo:

Clearly he’s got the yellow, black and red facepaint on behind these tweets. But then?

So, again, who was this guy rooting for in Thursday’s USA-Germany showdown? He predicted a 3-0 Germany win:

And then this?

As we all know, us Americans showed how to lose and still win. Mr. Lutz was thrilled:


Minoring in Twitter: Dress-up in Louisville, Mountain Man and Tony Gwynn

By Danny Wild /

Last week, we brought you some memorable team selfies thanks to the always reserved Shelley Duncan in Louisville (he was released Thursday). This week? Break out your best Elvis suit:

Like Justin Timberlake in Friends with Benefits when he goes hiking, Quad Cities first baseman Jack Mayfield also reached the top of the “Hollywood” sign this week (unclear if Mila Kunis was there waiting for him):

Buffalo’s Ryan Goins has plenty of tape now. What to do with all of it?


Minoring in Twitter: Minor Leaguers reticent about Johnny Manziel getting drafted

By Danny Wild /

Boston Red Sox v Cleveland Indians

I know this is hard to believe, but Johnny Manziel seems to be a polarizing figure. The Heisman Trophy winner and latest in a long line of hopeful Cleveland Browns quarterbacks was back in the news over the weekend when the San Diego Padres drafted the Texas A&M star in the 28th round of the Draft.

A predictable nickname was instantly attached: “Johnny Baseball.”

(For those non-football fans and/or people living under rocks, Mr. Manziel is a football player. He hasn’t played baseball since high school).

“Big thank you to the Padres and [team president] Mike Dee for selecting me in the MLB Draft,” Manziel said. “What a great day!”

Yes, yes. What a great day. You can just imagine how pleased and excited the realm of actual aspiring, hard-working baseball players were when they learned Manziel was the 837th overall pick.

Disgrace to baseball. Undeserving.

“I am sick to my stomach,” said Giants No. 8 prospect Clayton Blackburn. You can all now take a moment to imagine him vomiting in the Richmond dugout.

Calm down, everyone — Johnny Manziel has a right to be drafted in baseball. The guy can clearly throw — just look how natural he was while tossing out a ceremonial first pitch in San Diego last summer: Johnny Manziel

OK, OK. Moving on. In other news, Minor Leaguers really hate Johnny Manziel. (more…)

Minoring in Twitter: O’s Bridwell wants a diaper, Norris kills his fish

By Danny Wild /


I think this one needs to lead the blog this week. Orioles fans, your No. 17 prospect, Parker Bridwell, not only wants to wear adult diapers, he feels the need to tell everyone:

Here’s Bridwell with someone who flaunts his no-diaper lifestyle:

The other storyline sweeping Twitter has been the saga of Blue Jays prospect Daniel Norris and his pet fish, Caladesi. Norris, Toronto’s No. 1-ranked left-hander, revealed to the world that he had a new “toy” on May 28:

Yo. Take care of that little guy. He then Tweeted some words of wisdom about doing the right thing:

And then, he killed his fish.

WHAT HAPPENED? According to Norris, he froze his small aquatic friend by placing his plastic fish tank on the hotel’s air conditioner and turning down the AC to a chilly 60 degrees. (Related: a door nail is a nail hammered through a door, often for decorative purposes, in which the protruding end is then bent over to secure it to the door. Thus, the nail is no longer reusable and, I guess, dead?)

The mourning period begins:

That’s the first recorded usage of the “#RIPCaladesi” hashtag in Twitter history, by the way.

Norris then had a chance to pitch on June 2 in Jupiter. Perhaps an opportunity to dedicate his Florida State League start to his icy friend? He turned in a decent start– six innings, nine hits, three runs, no walks, six strikeouts, no decision. Quality start with a broken heart.

Would a fish survive with the opposite? No air conditioning?

Finally, a real moment of silence for a baseball legend:

Shawon Dunston Jr reached out to Taijuan Walker after a teammate apparently matched his high-reaching efforts in the Peoria clubhouse:

White Sox fans would prefer their prized stolen base champ, Micah Johnson, not bang up the legs that helped him swipe 84 bases last season (although he’s only 11-of-19 in steal attempts this year, so maybe it’s already begun):

There’s no bus or Chipotle in this photo, but it does include hideous uniforms, so it’s pretty accurate: (more…)

Minoring in Twitter: Pitchers stealing clubhouse food

By Danny Wild /

I’ve heard about this before — he who arrives late to the post-batting practice clubhouse lunch spread may very well be left hungry. Can’t we figure out a way to properly feed these young men in uniform? Check out Jerome Pena’s evidence — the Frederick second baseman found some half-eaten strawberries, a smear of mayo and two penne noodles:


Did you know you could play Connect 4 via text messages?

Breaking news: Florida has awful weather after March:

Pirates top prospect Jameson Taillon is impressed with the new film Million Dollar Arm, which tells the story of two guys who failed to reach the Majors and never made close to $1 million as pitchers:

Colorado Springs’ Ryan Wheeler has an adorable dog, if you want:

Delino DeShields was watching Sesame Street:

Hashtag bomb:

Someone is cheating on Chipotle:

Totally. They are better than Slurpees, too. Better consistency:

This week’s edition of “Cody Decker dressed like Willy Wonka” (more…)

Minoring in Twitter: Decker debuts new prank film

By Danny Wild /

Plenty to cover this week, but we’ll start first with the return of our friend Cody Decker, who has released his latest teammate prank movie. You may recall his last film, in which veteran Jeff Francoeur was fooled into believing one of El Paso’s pitchers was deaf. This week, Decker examines the NFL loyalties of teammate Brooks Conrad, whom he described as “a robot” lacking emotions:

Well done, Cody.

You, as the average baseball fan, may wonder stuff about those guys on the field. How come they’re not all horribly sunburned? Do they get hungry out there? What if they get attacked by insects? What if they need to go to the bathroom? For those questions — and evidently more than anyone wanted to ask — we have Jeremy Barfield: (more…)

Minoring in Twitter: Pink jerseys, graduation and hospital visits

By Danny Wild /

Cedar Rapids right-hander Todd Van Steensel acknowledges what we here at Minoring in Twitter have been saying all along:

Twitter is also really strange and full of randomness. Royals outfielder Desmond Henry has a message for women who wear fake hair in the summer, of all things:

He also thinks sliding head-first into second base — a practice that is universally discouraged by baseball coaches — would ruin his tattoos:

Hashtag Wear it Clown:

Note: We did not wish Brandon Barnes a happy birthday. Sorry, bud.

Check out the uniform worn by the Visalia Rawhide:

Maybe in reference to Dirk Hayhurst’s latest pity piece on Minor Leaguers:

Either Addison Russell is watching movies on the bus or he just pulls out obscure Forrest Gump references:

He also probably wears dirty clothes:

Mets prospect Allan Dykstra has a review of his latest fast food adventure:

Not to be confused with Slurpees:

There’s only one?

Gwinnett’s Cody Martin stopping by Niagara Falls:

Quad Cities Chase McDonald wants it hotter in the Midwest League. Be careful what you wish for:

Cardinals prospect Xavier Scruggs led the Memphis Redbirds on a visit to a local hospital, in uniform:

Bad news if you’re on the Pacers:

For fellow line dancing snobs among us:

Pretty girls love baseball players, and Cutter Dykstra is the current champion (that’s Jamie-Lynn Sigler/Meadow Soprano):

Tigers prospect Robbie Ray also did OK:

What happens when you give Minor Leaguers pink jerseys to wear? They take cell phone photos of them:

My man, Trevor Gretzky, has a pink bat for Mrs. Gretzky:

Some thoughts from Bryan Harper (brother of that guy, yes):

But can you be a hipster and a Bryce Harper fan at the same time?

Corky Miller living in the past (not a mustache reference):

Last week, we heard about the rare and delicious Montgomery delicacy of Golden Double Stuf Oreos. This week? Watermelon “flavor creme”

Graduated while in the Minors? Not bad.

Phillies prospect J.P. Crawford, the nephew of Carl Crawford, has a dog that looks like Ghost from Game of Thrones:


Nope, wait, it gets better:

White Sox prospect Courtney Hawkins got some helmet decals, although they appear to be bald eagles, not hawks:

Brandon Nimmo was drafted by the Mets in the first round, despite never playing high school baseball. Why? Because the state of Wyoming doesn’t have high school baseball. Why? Because the Wyoming snow in May can swallow you:

Ouch. Get well soon:

Wow, and this one from Ryan Dent. This looks pretty serious, although it could be fake — a description from said they remained in the game:

“Dent backpedaled into shallow left field to catch a fly ball to begin the fourth inning, but collided with Heller, who was charging in to make the play. Both the shortstop and outfielder remained down for several minutes, but stayed in the game.”

Chipotle Tweets of the Week’s own Tyler Maun sent us this one:

Yeah, and it’s now $1.50 to get avocado on your foot-long sandwich at Subway, at least here in always-affordable Manhattan:


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